So, you know the other Minivan Mom has a nickname for her middle child. We have one for ours as well. (I wonder if all middle children have nicknames?)
Anyway, we call her Nancy Drew. She’s always on the prowl for a good story. She situates herself within earshot of adult conversations at every given opportunity. She can even make herself seem invisible. One minute you’ll be gossiping with a friend and suddenly realize that Nancy Drew has heard far too much for her 11 year old self.
At first we thought it was an annoying nosey stage. That was about 6 years ago. From the looks of it, Nancy Drew’s here to stay. And, she’s taking notes. She’s got the dirt on everyone in this town, and beyond. And, let me tell you, she has got the down & dirty on me too. I swear she’s writing a book. All “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” style.
Whenever I catch her listening in, I call her out on it. Usually I just say “Hey, Nancy Drew, go find something else to do.” But, seriously, if she is writing a giant tell-all book, I hope she changes the names. Mine especially.
Some of you may already know my middle daughter, has anxiety. We know it. She knows it. She is doing really well right now. She actually talked to herself about her fears about Tsunamis and then verbalized why she knew it wouldn’t happen here. And she has been so much better at joining in with a group of kids playing a game. That used to be difficult even if she knew them. There are many other examples of her showing growth in this area too.
Well today she had her first swim meet of the season and last night, as you can imagine, the anxiety was on high. She was convinced that everyone had practiced more than her and she wasn’t going to do well. I asked her why she thought this since she had been swimming a lot. She kept saying she wanted to do it, but she was just uncomfortable. Which translates to “I am not sure what is going to happen and I am anxious about it.” Which, let’s face it, isn’t that normal? Don’t we all feel like this? If I had a swim meet tomorrow and I hadn’t raced since last summer, those same fears would be in my mind.
So we talked a little more about it and I told her I would be there to cheer her on and embarrass her. She smiled at that and I kissed her goodnight. I told her a good night sleep would help and she would be ready in the morning. I don’t know if she bought that or not because when I woke up this morning she was all snuggled up in our bed. I have no idea how long she was there.
Still, she got ready and gathered her towel, swim cap, water bottle and off we went. I had to drop her off to warm up and then take my older daughter to soccer camp and then get back to the pool. Now I was the one with anxiety. I was worried that she was worried. But when I got there she was warming up and she was with some girls her age and my friend was keeping an eye on her too. So all was well….. So far.
The meet was about to begin and they started with the 8 and under group, so she had to wait a little while before her heat. Waiting is the worst part. She got her cap on and stood nervously with her group. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was biting her nails furiously. The coach asked me if I would be a runner. I said sure as if I knew what a runner was, but I quickly figured it out. My very important job was to collect the times from all the timekeepers after each heat and hand them in to “The Ladies at the Table”. I don’t know what goes on at that table, but that was not part of my job.
Finally, it was her turn. She got in her ready stance as if she was at the Olympics about to go for the gold. Nine year old girls take these things very seriously. The whistle blew and they were off!!! She swam like a horse out of the gates at the Derby! She swam well. She swam fast. She was going for it! She was doing it! She did NOT swim like an anxious kid. She swam like a kid who wanted to win her heat. She ended up placing 2nd for her freestyle and 1st for her backstroke! I was so proud of her for doing well, but more importantly, I was proud of her for taking on her own challenges and winning.
Afterward, I asked her how she felt and she said it felt good to get in the water. I thought that’s perfectly said, because isn’t that the point? Just get in the water! Just give it a try! I hope every time she gets out there to try something and succeeds in doing it, whether she wins or not, she is gaining confidence and a stronger sense of self. What a great life lesson. I could learn a thing or two from her. I hope, as moms, we can all get in the water!